How To Let Them Go Quietly

“Letting go means to come to the realisation that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
~ Steve Maraboli

There comes a time in life when you realise that not everyone is meant to stay. Some people drift away slowly; others disappear in moments. And sometimes, even when there’s no fight, no explosion, no big falling-out, you still come to the quiet realisation: They’re just not invested in me.

They don’t ask about your life. They don’t celebrate your wins. They’re silent in your success but strangely present in your struggles—or they’re just absent altogether. Over time, it becomes clear that their presence is more weight than support. And that’s when you know: it’s time to let them go.

But how do you let someone go without causing confrontation, chaos, or emotional exhaustion? You do it quietly. Gently. Peacefully.

Here’s How:

1. Stop Feeding the Connection
   Stop texting first. Stop sending updates. Stop checking in or trying to keep the thread alive. Let silence replace the effort—and notice who reaches back and who never does.
2. Accept the Truth Without Bitterness
   Let go of the fantasy version of who they could be. Accept who they are now. This isn’t about blame—it’s about clarity.
3. Set Subtle Boundaries
   You don’t need to make a big speech or stage a goodbye. Simply draw soft boundaries. Choose not to invite, not to involve, not to inform. That’s all.
4. Let Go, Even If They’re Still Around
   Sometimes, I’ve let go of people who are still physically present in my life. They wouldn’t even know it, because they’ve been too caught up  to notice what’s been withdrawn. My energy, my effort, my enthusiasm—it’s all quietly pulled back. Not to punish, but to protect.
5. Recognize That Some Goodbyes Are Easier Than Others
   Sometimes, it’s surprisingly easy to walk away—from toxic friendships, draining workplaces, or unsupportive bosses. I’ve done that. And I’ve never looked back. But some people are a permanent fixture in your life, and that makes things more complicated. In those cases, it’s not about cutting ties—it’s about softening your connection, detaching emotionally, and choosing your peace over continued disappointment.
6. Focus On Who Does Show Up
   Redirect your energy toward the people who are invested. The ones who ask how your day was, who show up at your kids’ events, who cheer you on in the quiet and the loud moments.
7. Let Your Children See the Difference
   As a mum, I’ve sadly witnessed my children begin to notice this behaviour in people close to them. They see who calls, who shows up, and who genuinely cares. It’s painful at times, but also a powerful life lesson—one that teaches them to value the people who invest in them. Love isn’t just spoken; it’s shown.

Letting people go quietly is not weakness—it’s wisdom. It’s understanding that closure isn’t always about confrontation. Sometimes, it’s just choosing peace over proving a point.

And in that quiet letting go, we teach our children the most important truth of all: that being loved and supported is never too much to ask for—and never something to beg for.

L x