64 Before Sixty-Four

At 3:00pm on November 12^th, 2015, I lost my hero. The first man I ever loved, the man I measured all other men up against – my dad, he was 64 years old.

I was always grateful for the life I was born into, but I don’t think I valued it and every breath I took until I watched my dad take his last. Surely we had at least another twenty years with him? I never imagined that he would be gone by Christmas.

The days that followed dad’s passing were surreal. I felt I was handling things well and found myself consoling other people, reassuring them that we were okay and that dad is where he wants to be. Little did I know that when people returned to their normal functioning lives and their mood lifted as the festive season approached, that my mood would plummet and suddenly I felt like I had lost my right arm.Dad hailed from humble beginnings. Having emigrated from Italy to Australia when he was just eight years old, he met his father for the first time who had arrived ahead of the family to set up a home. Dad worked hard to get himself through University and established himself as a Pharmacist; a profession he worked at for 35 years. During this time he became an important part of the community. I never once heard him complain or resent the life he had. He knew what he wanted in life and how to achieve it. I like to think that is a trait I inherited from him.

My wonderful hubby took the kids out one evening so I could have some quiet time to myself. I was feeling particularly low that day as I contemplated the difficulty of moving forward in life without dad. Without warning, while lying on my bed, I felt an intense warmth as the light of the sun spilled from behind the clouds and in through the bedroom window. It was 6pm and I recall thinking that this burst of sunlight was somehow different; far too bright for this time of the evening. I turned toward it; still lying on the bed. I was immediately bathed in an indescribable sense of calm. I knew it was dad. I could almost feel his big bear hug and hear him whisper to me, “You can do this”. The following morning, I awoke so comforted and determined. While he was alive, I was amazed at dad’s faith and sense of peace. He was never afraid of dying because he knew two things. One was that he was going to a better place but the other was that life is what you make it. There’s no time for regrets or sorrows. It was in this moment that I resolved to take charge of my life and compile a Bucket List.

After losing dad at 64 years of age, and realising there were so many more things he wanted to do and that life really does need to be ‘lived’ everyday, I decided to set myself this little challenge.I have a list of 64 things I would like to achieve before I turn 64 years of age, in honour of my dad (for those that want to know, I am now 37 years old). I’m hoping that some wonderful people may help me along the way to complete this list; I have already ticked off 18 Bucket List items. I will keep you all updated of my progress via my blog posts! I leave you now with what my dad liked to refer to as ‘a little pearl of wisdom’……

‘If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello’

~ Paulo Coehlo   

BUCKET LIST

1. Visit Shakespeare’s Birthplace
2. Get a tattoo
3. Go to Paris and make it to the top of the Eiffel Tower
4. Sleep in a treehouse
5. Watch the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace
6. Hunt a monster i.e. Dracula, Nessie
7. Sleep in a castle
8. See Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights)
9. Take part in a Japanese Tea Ceremony in Japan
10. Experience a white Christmas
11. Learn a different language – French
12. Face a fear
13. Go on a safari through the Serengeti
14. Win a big competition
15. Jump in a pool fully clothed
16. Ride a horse on the beach
17. Buy a pair of Christian Louboutin Shoes
18. Go ice skating in Central Park, New York
19. Visit Japan during Cherry Blossom season
20. Stand on Audrey Hepburn’s Star on the Walk of Fame
21. Colour my hair pink
22. Sleep out under the stars
23. Write and publish a book
24. Ride a camel
25. Climb a mountain
26. See Roxette in concert
27. Ride a gondola in Venice
28. Appear on television
29. Do an overnight trip on a train
30. Watch the sunrise on the beach
31. Fall in love
32. Have a family
33. Travel business class
34. Listen to the Dalai Lama speak live
35. Visit Santa Claus village in Rovaniemi
36. Shop at a German Christmas market
37. Stay in a Tuscan villa
38. Stand in front of the Taj Mahal
39. Travel down the Loire Valley
40. Watch a show at the Moulin Rouge
41. Visit Prince Edward Island, Canada
42. Watch the Edinburgh Military Tattoo
43. See the Great Barrier Reef
44. Stand at the top of the Burj Khalifa, Dubai
45. See Ayers Rock
46. Walk the Great Wall of China
47. Visit Highclere Castle from Downton Abbey
48. Do High Tea at The Ritz
49. Drive the Great Ocean Road
50. Do a movie marathon
51. Eat at Heston Blumenthal’s restaurant ‘The Fat Duck”
52. Take the kids to Disney Land
53. Watch the new year come in, in another city
54. Go on a massive guilt free shopping spree
55. Buy something from Tiffany’s
56. Take part in a major festival in another country
57. Open a Tea Room with my mum
58. Go back to dad’s hometown in Calabria, Italy
59. Change someone’s life in a good way
60. Watch an Olympic event live
61. Help a complete stranger
62. Study a course at Oxford University
63. Find a job I’m passionate about
64. Be in two places at once

COMPLETED

1. Visit Shakespeare’s Birthplace
2. Get a tattoo
3. Watch the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace
4. Face a fear
5. Win a big competition
6. Climb a mountain
7. See Roxette in concert
8. Ride a gondola in Venice
9. Appear on television
10. Fall in love
11. Have a family
12. Listen to the Dalai Lama speak live
13. Drive the Great Ocean Road
14. Watch an Olympic event live
15. Be in two places at once
16. Go on a massive guilt free shopping spree
17. Find a job I’m passionate about
18. Jump in a pool fully clothed
19. Stand on Audrey Hepburn’s Star on the Walk of Fame
20. See Elton John in Concert
21. Write and Publish a Book
22. Watch the Edinburgh Military Tattoo
23. Buy something from Tiffany’s
24. Workshop with Gabrielle Bernstein
25. Workshop with Elizabeth Gilbert
26. Win a Book Award
27. Win a Coaching Award